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John Cleese:

- Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.

- I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

- If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking "Do you want fries with that?"

- If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

- He who laughs most, learns best.

- The three differences between American and British people:
o "We speak English and you don't."
o "When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play, as well."
o "When you meet the head of state in Great Britain, you only have to go down on one knee."

- Frankly, I don't know who David Lettersby is. -- #1 reason why he could not appear on David Letterman's show


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